Classically Beautiful Audrey

My new obsession: Audrey Hepburn. I think I'm fascinated by Marilyn Monroe. She's so interesting, and misunderstood. And I understand the stereotype of being blond and pretty, and not being taken seriously for her roles. But I love Audrey Hepburn. She's adorable, and classically beautiful. She has wit and charm, and can talk incessantly. I love "Breakfast at Tiffany's". I watched it several years ago, and recently remembered it. Now that I'm older, and more into those sorts of romances, I simply adore it. There is just some sort of appeal to their romance, and her life. She lives that fake, glamorous life, and he does too, to an extent. And they have to give it up, and truly respect each other for it to work.

I'm currently watching "How to Steal a Million" with her in it. And I am loving it. It has the same sort of humor, the quick wit, and banter. But she is a different character, and she portrays her differently. The humor is similar, but not the same, a lot of it is more humor oriented than "Tiffany's". It's one of those strange, awkward comedies, where they are put in odd situations. But it's a lot of good, funny quotes. And Audrey has caught me. I love her, and I intend to watch a lot more of her movies.

My Love of Jane and Miss Heyer

Georgette Heyer is like a drug. Once you read one you must read them all. You're addicted. You have to finish the book. You have to finish all you can by Heyer. She is truly remarkable. I love Jane Austen, but I have often bemoaned the fact that she never wrote more novels. Of course, her novels are superior in quality to Miss Heyer's, but Miss Heyer definitely has quantity, if not the same quality. Jane (I can not refer to her as Miss Austen, I know her far too well) wrote with a complexity and poignancy not quite on the same level as Miss Heyer. But both incorporate a humor and love for the ridiculous. Miss Heyer's novels are definitely reminiscent of Jane's, and often they are a mixture of Jane's tales. But Jane will always hold that foremost place in my heart and soul. I love them both, each in a different way. For each of their specific qualities. They each feed my imagination in a similar manner, and each holds high standards for their work. It is impossible for me to shun one, or the other, I need them both. I love them both. And I'm such a fast reader that I will never have to choose between them.

An Update on Art

Turned in my museum paper today. I think it turned out pretty well. It's hard to describe art though. Even pictures never do the actual piece justice, but trying to describe a work using such a limited vocabulary is hard. I can't explain with my words the way certain works of art make me feel. I can't always explain exactly why I find something beautiful. I hope my professor likes my representation of the works of art, and the way I incorporated the textbook. Because it was hard. I wasn't exactly sure what he wanted from me.

Unconditional Love

I just spent the day with someone I used to know everything about. It was the weirdest experience. I suppose once you're that close to someone, no matter how much you change, or how much that person changes, you still have those years in common. We still had those little things, like those posters that used to hang in her room, and the Bible she let me borrow, and I ended up keeping, in common. There were just little things that I knew what she was talking about. And even though she knows nothing about me now, and I know nothing about her anymore, deep down, somehow, we know each others souls. Because we've told each other deep and secret things at the urging of 2am in the morning. And we've laughed so hard we've cried together. And we've cried so hard, we had to laugh. And even though our relationship obviously didn't work out, and at times I wondered if it was even real, I think I know that there were moments when I have seen that girls deepest being. And that no matter how we want to feel about each other now, that can't change the fact that we know we have much in common. It's harder to not feel love for someone that you know their deepest struggles and turmoils. And no, not passionate love, but the love Christ has for us. A sort of unconditional love, even though this love isn't quite the same, and has many flaws. It is a love that is impossible to avoid. Even though there are things that just stand in the way, we can't help it. It's as though, on the inside, we speak the same language. But I think it was healing. Being together reminds me of the good times, so that I no longer dwell on the bad. Reminds me of the truth, so I forget the lies. And though it will never go back, and I can never feel the same way about her, I can move on with my life. Knowing that I have played a role in her life, and she in mine. And that we have touched each others souls, and been in the right place at the right time for one another, even though it was several years ago.

Transitioning from Pirates to Classy

So I hung my super cute, new, Marilyn Monroe poster up. And I love it. It makes my room so much more mine. I guess I've never really done anything in my room that was really truly me. And this is me. It's super cute, yet classy in a way. It's more mature and grown up then my Pirates of the Caribbean or High School Musical posters. And the frame gives it a really nice touch. It just looks so clean, and classy.

Excursion

I spent my afternoon most pleasantly. Me and one of my good friends went to target, and found tons of fun stuff. I bought a $5 pouch, that fits my ipod perfectly. It's the prettiest shade of blue, with a cute, orange peace sign on the front. I bought a beautiful purple shirt, with black design on the front, and random sparkles. It was on clearance for $6. I found some pajama shorts for $4 that are really cute, and comfy, and a lot of awesome, $1 E.L.F. makeup. I really like the E.L.F. makeup. My friend and I ran across it one time at target. I bought some different eye shadows, and have found my favorite eye shadow of all time. Today we went to a different Target, and they had a different selection of makeup. I bought an eye shadow applying brush, and duel mascara, with regular and waterproof mascara, and a bronzer. Each one was only a $1.

We then made our way to Micheal's, where I bought a Marilyn Monroe poster, and frame for only $20 combined. The frame alone was regularly $20, and the poster was about $11. But the frame was 40% off, and I had a 40% off coupon for the poster. I've already framed it, and hung it up above my bed. It's adorable, with four different Marilyn faces on the front.

After shopping we ate Pei Wei, and went to see Iron Man 2, which was a pretty good movie. Not as mind blowing as Inception, but a solid movie unto itself.

We spent about half our time together laughing, and making good-natured fun of each other. What started as a not so great day ended on the perfect note. I love those kind of days.

Sometimes it's hard to focus on the positive, when the negative is so apparent.

Bed by Day

I remember reading this poem as a child, and completely identifying with it. I never understood why I had to go to bed when the sun was shining through my blinds, and I could hear teenagers laughing and talking outside my window. It's strange to me that now I am the one staying up, and keeping young children awake, because they hear my voice outside their windows.

Bed in Summer

In winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle-light.
In summer, quite the other way,
I have to go to bed by day.

I have to go to bed and see
The birds still hopping on the tree,
Or hear the grown-up people’s feet
Still going past me in the street.

And does it not seem hard to you,
When all the sky is clear and blue,
And I should like so much to play,
To have to go to bed by day?

~Robert Louis Stevenson

Murder!

Murder! a 1930 film directed by Alfred Hitchcock was definitely interesting. It's quite amazing how far our technology has come. The picture was unclear, and the sound quality lacking at times. It was Hitchcock's third talking movie. It's a mystery story, or really a who-dun-it? story. There was only music at the beginning and the end of the film, and often there were awkward silences, but in a world so obsessed with perfect quality, perfect music, perfect people, it was kind of refreshing. It was a short film, only a little over an hour, but it had a quality about it I liked. I love old movies. I love to think how shocked and incredulous such greats as Alfred Hitchcock, Marilyn Monroe, Cary Grant, would be if they saw all our IMAX theaters and 3D technology. To watch one of our polished 21st century films. And it makes me long to know what people 80 years from now will think of our movies. If they will smile indulgently on our attempts at life like works, just as we sometimes do. If they'll just view our movies as steps towards truly great works. Old movies, old music, old anything fascinates me, as does anything new. The events of time excite me, to know that what we have achieved is great, and there is greater yet to happen.

Accomplishments

I love that feeling of getting stuff done. It's 2pm, on a Monday, and I have managed to sleep till 10:30, read some chapters of my current book, take an art test (that isn't due till Thursday), eat lunch, take a shower, put makeup on, watch an episode of Remington Steele, and order a refill for my prescription at CVS. And I haven't even gone to work yet. The only other thing that could make this day better would be to get my iPod. But I'm not getting my hopes up. Wouldn't that be the perfect ending though? To come home from work tonight, to find it waiting for me on my desk? But if that does happen, it will most likely happen tomorrow when I get home from work.

Anyway I'm pretty much just rambling. And slightly bored. Having accomplished these things, I have little else to do. And a little less than an hour to kill. I'm reading another Georgette Heyer book at the moment, and I'll probably work on it a bit more. It's a little different flavor from her others, but I think I'm liking it so far. And Remington Steele is slowly coming to an end. I have only a handful of episodes left before the show is finished. I'll miss the silly humor, the quirky characters, and the all the murders. But all good things must come to an end. As must a blog post.

Inception

Me and my brother went to see "Inception." It was awesome. The character's were quirky, flawed, yet each had strong traits. They worked together with such unity and striving for one single goal. In a movie there's usually that one character that has different ideas, and other motives than the others. But in this movie they had to work together. If they weren't in it all together, they were all dead. I totally have a crush now on Joseph Gordon-Levitt who played Arthur. And I loved the odd assortment of actors: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Michael Caine. They were all excellent at their characters.

The plot was confusing, but smart. It required attention, and there were a few scenes that were a bit hard to follow. But in a good way. The whole idea of dreams is fascinating, and having dreams in dreams is confusing, but makes for great movie material. It was definitely a must see movie. It was smart, and truly captured dreamlike qualities.

To Be Young

Sometimes I forget what it was like to be a kid. I forget the hours I spent playing Lego's with my brother, and Playmobil with my best friend. I forget how often I would go swing in our backyard. And all the times I played make believe with our plastic dishes and the berries that were on our trees. I forget about the elaborate camping ground I built for my little plastic people, and how I loved to create houses, and rooms full of detail for any of my little people. My dad built me a huge bookshelf/dollhouse. The idea was it was like a bookshelf, with different "floors" and on each floor were different numbers of rooms, and in each room I created a living space for my toys. But before that, before it got all fancy, I would make entire houses out of books. I would use books to represent a room. Or sometimes, I would even lay two books together to create one big room. I would make a whole floor plan, and from there add furniture and little people and make a story. Or I would use the flat building board for our Lego's, and I would build walls and furniture for my little Lego people. I loved to create and organize. A characteristic that I still have. I love organizing things as efficiently as possible. Making as many rooms on that Lego board as possible. Or fitting as much furniture on a book as possible. I read a lot. From this world of stories I would create my own. I would make stories for my dolls. And for weeks I would try to leave my book house up, or to keep my Lego house the same. But after a while it would have to be picked up, or a new way of organizing the rooms or furniture would come to me, and I would start all over again. I think my favorite part was the building of the house, once that was done, I would play a little longer, but it wasn't as fun. Often, I would create a house, make it beautiful, name my people, come up with a story, then wreck it all and move on to a new thought.

I wish I could go back. I wish I could pull out those play things, and find those specific gray books that were all about the same thickness and worked so well as a floor plan. I wish I could find all that beautiful furniture and create rooms and stories once again. But I'm almost eighteen. And such childish things must be put behind me, and sometime, maybe, when no ones looking I'll go look at all those old play things. But for now I have to pretend. Pretend that I don't long for those days. That I don't wish to be young forever.

Contentment

Mmmhmmm, stuffed jalapenos and making A's in art, what could be better??

Well, I just thought about that, and came up with a few things that I wish would be better. But in the moment, right now, sitting here in front of my computer, being bored on facebook and eating those delicious jalapenos there really is nothing better. There is nothing that would add to this moment. It's complete contentment and happiness.

The sad thing is we lose sight of these moments in our everyday lives. And they really don't come often enough. And they pass. They pass, oh, so quickly. And the next minute the contentment, along with the jalapenos, seem to just disappear. But you think back to that moment, and there is nothing more beautiful. Nothing more worth living for, than the joy that seems to burst randomly at odd moments in even the most mundane of circumstances.

An Anniversary and Accomplishment

I have made it a little over three weeks, constantly updating this journal. I'm impressed.

On another note this day...no this week...has been very productive. I've done quite a lot of reading for my class, had a dermatologist appointment, bought an iPod, going to get my hair highlighted, and now I am going on a long promised movie date with one of my friends to see "The Crazies." I just hope it's not too horrifying.

I don't have any more time than just this quick note, but I didn't want to get lazy now!

Apples, Art, and Clutches

Today was full of very interesting events. I have learned to hate the Apple Store. The disorganization is maddening. My brother and I went, at great risk to our lives, to a local mall to visit the Apple Store. The button on my iPod Touch has been jammed, most likely from a collection of just plain crap getting caught. We spent most of the time waiting for someone to be free to talk to us. There were a good 15 employees there, and not one of them was very helpful. After setting an appointment to meet with someone who knew what they were talking about, we went to lunch and returned. Again we waited a good 20 minutes to finally talk to someone about getting my iPod fixed. He pretty much told me it was ruined and that I would have to spend $200 to get it replaced. I could spend a bit more than that and get a lot nicer one than the one I had. So we braved my brother's car to get back home.

Apparently the clutch would keep going out on him. Now, without a clutch, let's just say driving a manual car is very exciting. There were a few times that he had to restart the car after killing it.

After getting home I spent sometime in the sun with my Art Appreciation textbook, and I must say that time was well spent. I made a 92 on my first exam for that class. And I think I'm going to like it. I already love my professor: he's communicative, understanding, but takes no crap and has high standards. I think it should be a really good class. I hope to get ahead in it too.

Oh, and did I mention I ordered a refurbished 34GB 3rd gen iPod touch off the apple website? Because I did. I just want something that is not gonna break on me. I always end up with the crappy item, so I just pray this one is awesome, and amazing, and if it has anything wrong I can figure it out before the year warranty is up.

Marilyn Monroe Tribute

Tonight I made my second attempt at Marilyn Monroe makeup (meaning red lipstick and the flick at the end of her eyeliner). It turned out fairly decent, though the red lipstick was a bit bright. I felt I'd share some of the better pictures, and add a few of my favorite quotes by her. Enjoy!


"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
~Marilyn Monroe~

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
~Marilyn Monroe~


"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."
~Marilyn Monroe~



"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
~Marilyn Monroe~




"Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world."
~Marilyn Monroe~




"If you're gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty."
~Marilyn Monroe~

Thoughts on the Classics

A question came up in my mind randomly the other day: who exactly decides what is a classic? I mean we always say things like "oh, "Gone With the Wind" that's a classic!" But what does that really mean? I was thinking about it, and I realized that the books I love the most are not necessarily classics. Yes, I do really love Jane Austen and "Gone With the Wind" and several other good classics. I don't understand why "Anne of Green Gables" is such a big deal. I infinitely preferred the Emily series by the same author, L.M. Montgomery to "Anne". And one of my favorite love stories and self discovery stories is also by Montgomery. She wrote "The Blue Castle," a story about a women who has little time to live, and feels she must cram as much life into a short period of time. It's a beautiful story, and one of my favorite books. I relate to the main character on so many levels.


Many people of read, or at least, heard of "A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeleine L'Engle, but not many of heard of the "Small Rain", the most emotional book I have ever read. I cry when reading books, I cried when Dumbledore died in the Harry Potter series. But I have never cried so emotionally as I did after reading that book for the first time. After about a years time elapsed I read the book again, and I was filled with just as much emotion, though I bit different one. I was filled with anger, and not quite so many tears. It's a beautiful, yet very painful, very harsh book. The reality is hurtful. And draws up images of ones own life. It was L'Engle's first novel, and has a realness, though bleakness her others don't quite match. It is not a fairytale, or a love story, it is pain. It is a story of growing up, of pain, of dealing with hurtful people, of injustice, and severed friendships. Reading it from two different points of my life it effected me differently, but still as strongly. If I can ever evoke half as much emotion in a person as L'Engle evoked in me through that novel, I will view my life as having meant something.

Friends

"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love." ~Jane Austen~

Rain and Shoes

Today I spent the day at the mall...I also spent a lot of money. But it was truly worth it.

This was my first day off in 8 days. The only thing that really ruined it for me was having to get up at 8:30 for taekwono. The day was very bleak, lots of dark, ominous clouds, and horrible humitity. The cement flooring of the pavilion we meet at was covered in different puddles from all the recent rain. Doing jump front kicks barefooted on wet cement was definitely not ideal. And there were a few times I was scared I was going to slip. The first 15 minutes of practice was devoted to discussing sparing. I do not want to spar. I will fail miserably. I am not as devoted to taekwondo as many of the students are, and I'm scared I'll either hurt someone, or more likely, hurt myself. But I have a while to worry about that. And I don't expect to be ready for any belt test anytime soon.

After practice we went over to the Chick-fil-a. Today is cow appreciation day, and so a good deal of people were dressed up as cows to celebrate the day with a free meal. I have seen more cow customes in one day than I have ever seen in my life. It was a very strange experience.

A lot of interesting people, and some communication issues later I went to the mall with my best friend Amanda and our friend Jason. I must say I went on a bit of a shopping spree. But all if it was necessary to my happiness...of course. And I bought a lace cami at Aeropostale that I had wanted for quite some time. And it was unsale for half the price I was about to pay for it a few weeks ago. And I bought two pairs of super cute shoes and an awesome little clutch purse with tons of extra space in it for money and cards. I was so excited about my shoes I took the tags off and proceeded to wear them about the mall...at least until it started raining. We talked in Sonic for a good long time during the wild rain outside. I am so excited about my cute new shoes. One pair are blue flats, and the others are more like flat tennis shoes, checkered in all my favorite colors. I cannot wait to wear them.

This was by far my best day off in a long time...despite a little rain, and slightly because of my super cute shoes. <3

Review of "Isabella" by Loretta Lynda Chase

I must say that when I began this novel, I was a little wary, yet at the same time very ready to be drawn into it. After having started two novels (one which was bland and immature, and the other which used so many large words I couldn't take it seriously), I wanted something that would be quick and interesting. Well, "Isabella"was definitely both of these things.

The plot was of the usual Regency type, involving scandal, fortunes, wards, and fortune hunters. There was nothing really new or interesting that was added to these things. It called to mind a few Georgette Heyer novels and definitely "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. The whole idea of a very rich man, and his nemesis, a fortune hunter, competing for a smart, yet plain girl. The characters were a bit one dimensional. At by the end my favorite character was that of Isabella's mother, Maria. I was highly amused by her take on life. This novel also detailed the inner workings of the character's minds a bit much for my taste. I feel that these thoughts would have been better left unwritten. Or even un-insinuated as they were. There were a few scenes that were just too much. I think it is because, the joy, to me, at least, of a Regency is the innocence at least of the relationship, if not necessarily the characters. And that innocence was lacking in this novel.

I have no great dislike for this novel. Yet, I have no great liking for it either. It wasn't a complete waste of my time, but I feel I would not be lacking anything right now if I had not read it. It's a book for when you have nothing else better to read. But do not go to any trouble to run out and read this book. Or you will be much disappointed.

A Cashier Story and High Praise From a Professor

Today was the end of three things that have been major factors in my life these past few weeks.
1. The stupid buy 10 items, get $3 off sale at work.
2. The last day of my first summer semester for college.
3. (This doesn't truly apply till tomorrow). The end of an 8 day work streak. I can't wait for my day off on Friday.

And now my story. A middle aged man, probably in his late 30's early 40's came through my line today. Well, that's not really where the story starts. I was standing at my register, looking in the other lines to see if there was someone who hadn't already put their items on the belt yet. And I caught this man's eye. He came over into my empty lane and said: "I saw you're beautiful eyes and couldn't resist coming through your line." I had the sudden urge to laugh, but instead smiled, and I think I thanked him. It was by far the highlight of work. It was just so creepy and funny.

My lovely blue eyes:


And I have one last random story. My professor emailed me an awesome e-mail. This made my day.

"You've clearly benefited from excellent home schooling and caring parental oversight. You're a very good writer, Sara. The one point I would like to make, is take time to proofread carefully.

"Occasionally you make a grammatical error that I think you should be able to catch with careful proofing, but you're an impressive writer. I especially like the way you write with character and personality. Keep that up! Congratulations, Sara, you've earned an A in the course."

So I am impressive and have character and personality? I'll take it! Along with that lovely A.

(I think I was super hyper and random when I wrote this)

Introvert

I didn't know she was an introvert...



"I restore myself when I'm alone" ~Marilyn Monroe~

Review of "Young Victoria" 2009

I love time period pieces. Especially of England back in the late 1700's early 1800's. Victoria began her reign in 1837, and most of the movie takes place around 1836 to 1840. The movie was very educational on her life. I love the kinds of movies that make historical figures such as Queen Victoria into real people. I was able to take a peek into her life through this movie. The period clothing and buildings were lovely. The pace was pretty quick, and even though the movie required your attention, and thought, it wasn't too complicated or confusing. It really portrayed her as a strong woman, who is unsure of what she is supposed to do. She was about 17 at the beginning of the movie, and I understand how she is caught between being a girl, and being a woman. She struggles with trying to show everyone that she is capable of the role that is hers, even though she is young. I really felt like it drew on my emotions, when Sir Conroy is yelling at her, I was surprised how calm she was towards him. He truly infuriated me.

The second half of the movie was more of Victoria's struggle balancing normal everyday relationships like daughter and wife, with the role of queen. A major theme was Victoria and Albert's love story. I loved them as a couple, cried when they fought, laughed when they were happy. My favorite quote of the movie was when Albert is speaking to Victoria about the assassination attempt on her life:
"First, I am replaceable and you're not. Second, you're the only wife I ever will have. You're my whole existence and I will love you till my last breath."

The acting was not remarkable, and at times Victoria (Emily Blunt) seemed incapable of making any other face, but her gloomy, moody one. But then Albert (Rupert Friend) drew out a spark in her. Their chemistry was beautiful, and I think Friend really made the movie. He truly captured his struggle with his role in life. At the beginning it was his love for Victoria, and fear of her being taken advantage of, or worse, forgetting about him. And towards the end it was his struggle of being the Queen's husband. Of feeling useless. I really loved the movie, and would recommend it to anyone who likes the time period, a love story, or English politics.

Yes, I am an Intelligent being

She stared at me through her old-fashioned, horn rimmed glasses. I couldn't help but think she looked stuck in the '80's. "I have 10 things" she repeated defiantly. I inwardly sighed and pressed 15 sign on. I began naming off the things she bought that were part of the sale. I counted 8 things total. "You need 2 more items, ma'am." "No, I have 10," she insisted. Good grief. "What did I not name that you thought was part of the sale?" She began to think as I went through the list again. "The cheese. Did the cheese not come off?" I looked through the list, then turned to my bagger, Sami. "Can you find the cheese?" Sami began digging though the bags, bringing up 16 oz. shredded cheese. I consulted the ad. "It's only on the 8 oz. cheese, ma'am." And then begins the defense. IT wasn't clearly labeled, she just grabbed what was under the sign, the print was too small. Sami couldn't get back fast enough with the right cheese to suit me. And this is one of the less ugly scenarios.

I am a trained cashier. It's been a good 9 months. That's long enough to create a baby. That's long enough to know what I'm doing behind a register. Yet, because of my age, and sometimes I wonder if it's my blond hair, people don't trust me to know what I'm doing. They think I'm stupid and incapable. But it's their own lack of knowledge that is the issue. I know my register and I will consult my ad, and between these two key things I am very capable. I know how to manipulate the machine to do what it needs to do. IF that's what I want it to do, of course. I love a challenge, and the satisfaction of pointing out to a difficult customer that they were wrong is a satisfaction unparalleled. I do know what I'm talking about, so next time, if I were you, I'd listen.

The 4th of July

We are one nation, under God. I thank God for the men and women who have sacrificed their time, fought to defend, and lost their lives for this great nation. I pray for all those who are still fighting, and still dying for their country. I pray for their families who miss them and worry about them. And I thank God for the founders who started this God fearing nation so many decades ago. For those who declared their independence of tyranny and fear, to create a great country that is a beacon on a hill to other countries all around the world. Thank you to those brave people. And thank you God that I live in such a country.

I failed...

So I failed yesterday. It was my first day since starting this journal that I didn't have time to post something. But that's ok. I had to write a research paper, and spend some time with my best friends. So I'll forgive myself. I'm actually shocked all the ideas I've had for this journal, and how I've kept up with it for over a week. I plan on keeping this up!

Grief

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." -C.S. Lewis